Sam doesn't realize it, but a victim is lurking inside him. Though he wears a sunny disposition outside, inside, the perky 52-year-old father is resigned to three ideas:

1. "It's too late in my life to go back to college like I always wanted to. I'd look ridiculous, and who has the time for that?"

2. "My ex-wife is to blame for my financial problems and my children's disrespectful behavior."

3. "No matter what I do—no matter how hard I work or how much inner work I do on myself—things are not ever going to change for me."

Quite a life sentence he's given himself: hopelessness and weakness, twin offspring of the same poisonous origin known as "Trigger Thoughts" and  "Victimhood."

When we operate from a victim mentality, we give the power to create our own life to someone else, and then we moan about how controlling the other is. To avoid taking responsibility, we create (and protect at all costs!) the dangerous illusion that we are always right. We blame others for our...