I don’t hesitate to express my feelings. I just don’t always communicate them to the other person.

For example, if I’m angry, I might take it out on the person who cut me off in traffic, I might spend more time working instead of talking about what's bothering me or I might say something mean to hurt the person who upset me.

If I’m feeling hopeless or discouraged about this new phase in my relationship, I seek support from a counselor, friends, or clergy member.

I don’t encourage others to take sides against the person with whom I’m ending a relationship.

I minimize change, keeping as much of the routine and rhythm of life as possible, for myself or for my children. If I don’t have custody, I try to maintain as many old habits and rituals with them as I can.

I build a team of people to help me make good choices and, hopefully, less adversarial choices.

I remember that a good outcome in a relationship is something both parties can live with, that it’s not about winning but being able to move on independently.

I avoid talking negatively about my partner in front of friends.